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News And Resoures

Writer's pictureKimberly Surber

Reasons Marriages Fail














Top 7 Reasons Marriages Fail


Marriage is a beautiful thing, but not everyone is lucky enough to stay married for a lifetime; here is the latest information on the top 7 reasons marriages fail.

A lasting, healthy marriage is something that couples have to work on every day, building a life together.


However, the work isn’t always fun; there comes a time you’ll face differences and say, “I love you, but I've fallen out of love with you” even though you’ve put a lot of effort into making it work.

What are the real top reasons marriages fail?

Reasons Marriages Fail #1: Lack of Communication

Poor communication is one of the top reasons for divorce. By not letting your spouse know how you feel, it’s easy for misunderstandings and hurt to take over as he/she may feel not heard.

Both partners must be able to discuss every aspect of married life openly and regularly. Without this two-way communication, marriages will not last long, and the lack of it often leads to divorce.


Marriage and life can be challenging. If you feel like you are drowning, speak up, and actively listen to each other.

Reasons Marriages Fail #2: Lack of Intimacy

Sex is still an essential part of every marriage during every step of the way, but intimacy is also much more than just sex. When the fire isn’t burning, and the desire to be intimate is gone, many spouses decide that the marriage should end.

Somewhere in a marriage, there is a subtle change in the intimacy department, but as long as both people are getting what they need, they willingly provide what the other person wants.

However, when there is a lessening on either person’s part, that can trigger a pulling back in the other. If gone unnoticed and unchecked, before the couple realizes, the couple may begin to feel unloved and unappreciated, which can lead to divorce.

Reasons Marriages Fail #3: Having an Extramarital Affair

Infidelity can destroy a marriage. Whether it is an emotional or physical affair with a non-spouse, the resulting trauma has precisely the same effect inside the marital bond.

An unfaithful partner leaves their marriage because they genuinely believe that they will find more happiness and fulfillment with the other person. This betrayal leads to the breakdown of all of the bonds that hold a relationship together: emotional, physical, spiritual.

Many couples decide to divorce because they can’t find a way to get past the betrayal. After all, trust, respect, and loyalty become so damaged that the injured spouse feels they have no choice but to dissolve the marriage and hire a family lawyer.

Reasons Marriages Fail #4: Lack of a Joint Goal

Marriage requires a lot of hard work and dedication. It is an essential thing in a long-term relationship to grow “together” to maintain an intimate connection with each other. However, life circumstances, kids, work, and finding different hobbies can all expand our horizons, which causes people to change over time.

We will all go through times in our relationships when our partners aren’t able to contribute 100%. What if one partner is exceptionally active while the other isn’t? If you’re not on the same page and heading in the same direction, then it becomes easy for you both to be working on your own agendas.

If you rely entirely on your partner for your fulfillment, you will find yourself looking for someone else when your needs aren’t being met. It’s not a recipe for a successful, long-lasting relationship, and it opens the door to plenty of opportunities to grow apart.


Reasons Marriages Fail #5: Financial Difficulties

People hate to admit it, but money makes a difference. If you and your partner have a steady and well-established income, the chances are that your marriage may last longer.

Sometimes, it's not the lack of finances that causes divorce, but the lack of compatibility in the financial department and lack of open communication about money problems that jeopardize a marriage more than the financial problems alone.

Imagine the conflict if one is a saver and one is a spender. One is focused on the future while the other believes in living for today – and over time, where there is less money, people become nervous and frustrated with their partners and their life.

Additionally, if one spouse is earning a living and the other isn’t, then the working spouse may feel the need to end the marriage. A spouse who sacrifices a career to raise the children may feel she/he is taken for granted. This conflict can reach such heights that divorce seems to be the only logical conclusion.

Reasons Marriages Fail #6: Violence and Abuse

Behind closed doors, domestic violence bruises the lives of an estimated four million people every year. Violence and abuse are some of the top reasons marriages fail today. Abuse of any kind is never acceptable in a marriage, and it’s hard to think that an intimate partner committed the violence and abuse.

Unfortunately, many victims of domestic abuse find it difficult to leave their marriage because of the trauma that has left them scared and vulnerable.

Domestic abuse is a pattern of physical, verbal, or psychological maltreatment that negatively affects the spouse. It involves an attempt to control or damage someone’s physical and emotional well-being and will indeed cause a marriage to fail in time.

In this situation, it is best to seek help and get out of there immediately. The first step is to leave, and everything else will follow after achieving safety.

Reasons Marriages Fail #7: The Wrong Reasons at the Wrong Time

Marriage must be built out of mutual respect, shared goals, compatibility, and real and enduring love. If there’s no love in a marriage, there’s nothing left in it.

What if you marry for the wrong reasons or marry before you’re truly ready? How can you honestly expect the marriage to be a success? Couples will likely divorce because, ultimately, they can’t live the rest of their lives with someone they don’t respect or like.

Many people get married due to pressure from family and relatives, marrying for money, to escape an unpleasant situation, unplanned pregnancies, societal pressure, or on attraction only.

If a couple doesn’t nurture the relationship, then it will stagnate and the partners will grow apart. They soon realize that they don’t love each other and start thinking about ending the relationship.


Take Control of Your Future


When you consider divorce, or if you know someone who is contemplating divorce, one of the biggest realities for those in the divorce process is the financial settlement and financial analysis post-divorce. Get the assistance of Kimberly Surber and Leslie Valant, both Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® at Leeward Divorce Financial Planning.


Both Kimberly and Leslie provide step-by-step guidance on matters related to divorce. With a wide range of experience and expertise related to divorce issues, our team will simplify the process and provide much-needed clarity in areas such as long-term tax consequences, asset, and debt analysis, dividing pension plans, continued health care coverage, stock option elections, protecting support with life insurance, and much more.











This information is not intended to be a substitute for seeking legal advice from an attorney. For legal or tax advice please seek the services of a qualified attorney and/or qualified tax professional.

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